Crew Blog

A Call to Arms!

12 April 2008

Comrades!

Too long have we languished, even suffered, at the back of the fleet while the Yankee imperialist dogs and their supine lackeys seek to glorify themselves, all the while broadcasting their propaganda using the Race Tracker. Too long have our efforts been insufficient to allow us to overcome these obstacles. We must become more industrious and lean. We must labour on the great oceans as we till the fields of guesthouses on the supportive land. Too long have we feasted on turtle and spit-roasted albatross while allowing ourselves to be fattened by sloth and decadence.

We on Clipper Workboat No. 8 must face some truths, and accept new challenges. The Supreme Leader, Comrade Cholerton-Brownski, and his comrade-deputies, Comrades Joneski and Jessopski, are in full agreement with this New Era of Ocean Racing – with Chinese Characteristics. Those who exercise their democratic right to disagree must, in the interests of the greater good, accept their fate in the gulag with good grace and an understanding of their collective wrongs. They will sail only two legs. For those for whom this new era rings true, they will continue on this journey for at least four legs. As the much-misunderstood Comrade Orwell would have said – Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad.

We must rid ourselves of the poison of internal competition. Henceforth, all comrades will serve on each watch. Sleep is for the imperialist dogs and for those for whom Truth and Greatness are alien. We will emphasise the Calvertist system of food allocation.  Each will be rewarded equally. Some may go hungry. But we will not be downhearted. No! We shall strive until we defeat those who would destroy the spirit of the race by beating us.

Comrade Lambiski
Announcer of the New Era