Introducing: The Port Watch!
When sailing across the world, there are various rules, regulations and codes that the group has to adhere to in order to ensure harmony amongst the masses, as we endeavour to spend four weeks in close proximity together.
The splitting of the group into 'watches' is a clever way of reducing traffic whilst on board, whilst also helping to divvy up the 24 hour workload that is required when ocean racing. My watch is known as the 'Port Watch'!
The Port Watch is made up of eleven of the most hardened, steadfast group of mariners known to man, all united under one mission, one agenda, one target - sailing fast. The combination of their skills is known throughout the high seas and their application and diligence in conquering all that lay in front of them is part of folklore legend! As they glide like ghosts in the night, whisking past their unsuspecting victims, their dedication and knowledge of the task shining out like a moon glistening on the calm ocean stillness - there is only one thing on their minds. Victory!
This is no ordinary breed of individuals. Skills honed through years of experience, they have become the envy of the oceans. Their slogan of 'trimming for winning' is now wax lyrical throughout every hardy sailing school in the land. To see them in action is heralded as something to treasure and to be in combat with them is something to fear. Their boat is the HMS Victory of combat racing, the Black Pearl of the midnight ocean and the Apollo 13 of speed, otherwise known as CV26 or 'Team GB' to the masses.
Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you, The Port Watch!
Mr. 'I don't take no cheese' Cheddar.
A man of few words who lets his arms do the talking. First name - Mr. Surname - Cheese. Said in the voice and tone of B. A. Baracus himself. Nothing can break this man or his resolve. He is the ‘Grand Fromage’ and there is no soft side to this 'Camembert'. If you want something done, give it to the Cheddar!
Paul 'The Squirrel' Hardy.
The Fagin of the group. There is no pocket, safe or storage hole that ‘The Squirrel’ can't break in to. He has a nose for the ultimate prize and can glide effortlessly from port to starboard, picking up all of the gems and jewels along the way. He is our source of salvation, returning with bullion just at the right time, when the watch is at their time of ultimate need.
Mr. 'Iron Mike' Inglis
The infallible, unflappable 'Iron Mike' is Mr Dependable. Ice cold under pressure and phased by nothing, he is Mr Consistent. Experience is his and like every wise owl, he knows what decisions to make and when. He rules with a strong arm and is a master of all traits and the jack of none. His reputation precedes him as one of the finest mariners and gentleman of the high seas. 'Iron Mike' we salute you!
Mr Marc 'the Helmsmaster' Heywood
He is the ruler of the waves, the 'Bodie Surfer' of the ocean. He has stared down many a monsoon and come out cruising his way home. His nimble hands and delicate touch make him not only the master of the wagon wheel, but the envy of every sea maiden, ocean wide. Take on this man at your peril. Ice runs through his veins and to challenge him is foolhardy. Try to take him to the edge and you will only find yourself gently falling in to the big blue abyss that lies beneath you.
Mr Marcus 'The Mule' Batty
This man brings the grunt to the group. His unrelenting appetite for work and hunger to be the 'minder of the grinder,' gives this man a winning mentality that has been spoken of worldwide. With arms the size of tree trunks and biceps that block out the midday sun, 'The Mule' is a sight to behold. His devilish good looks and choice wardrobe selections result in him being a fans favourite when on dry land. Dressed in his black onesie, 'The Mule' soon transforms in to Marcus ‘The Milk Tray' man, nimbly delivering some of the delicacies discovered on his travels to many a damsel in distress!
Nikki 'Mistress Seam' Banks
The fixer of sails and weaver of dreams. There is nothing that this woman can't do with a needle and thread in her hand. Nimble as the thimble she bears, ‘Mistress Seam’ can concoct some of life's most famous tapestries with one swift movement. Hands that slide effortlessly through even the toughest of challenges, like a knife through butter, ‘Mistress Seam’ is the ruler and tamer of winds.
Mr Neil 'Neo' Bennett
'Neo' is the chosen one. The leader of men and ruler of this merry bunch. His judgement is astute and every decision calculated with utmost precision. He is Mr Motivator, without the spandex and dodgy bandana. The strange stretches and eclectic collection of neon are not part of this man’s vocabulary. He is respected and admired by all those around him, especially his watch. His John Smith's, 'no nonsense' approach to every obstacle that stands in his way has made him the chosen one of this group.
Dominique 'The Dominator' Young
The Dominator rules the aft of this boat with aplomb. Her guile and cunning often see her outfox even the wiliest of waves. The Schumacher of the open sea, ‘The Dominator’ is highly regarded in many a circle for her tenacity and daring in even the most dangerous of situations. Her edgy and alternative hang outs, often in salubrious areas of our nation’s capital, result in her being the cultural one of the group. Offering the occasional splash of colour to illuminate the dreariest of days is a common occurrence for this Queen of the helm.
Jake 'The Snake' Carter
The knowledge of the watch. Often seen sliding across the deck, sashaying up the mast or trimming and organising the boat into a frenzy of speed, with effortless ease. ‘The Snake’ slithers his way through the ocean, quietly going about his business. But be warned, challenge him and you will feel the full force of the venom he hides beneath. His cheeky smile and laid back attitude merely mask the true competitor that lay beneath those strawberry blonde locks!
Lindsay 'The Siren' Evans
A temptress of the ocean and siren of the sea, Lindsay is the talk of every ship in town. Serene, subtle and sexy; her eyes are rumoured to turn even the toughest of sailors into putty in her hands. Her beauty is legendary but do not be fooled, the siren has a sinister and serious side to her. The ocean is her playground and if you are foolish enough to enter the den, be prepared to be toyed with like your favourite Hornby rail set.
Welcome to the team readers. Now you know why the Port Watch is such a sought after group. Keep this close to your hat and be sure to think twice before entering in to battle with this crafty set of sailors......ooooohh aarrrrggghhhh!!!