Race 12 - Day 7
Crew Diary - New York, USA to Derry-Londonderry, Northern Ireland
27 June

My name is Lizzy and I am a scaredy cat

Previous blogs have mentioned the first five days of this race and how testing they were. The heel of the boat, waves that hit you that feel like getting booted in the back by a rugby player, dampness everywhere below, crawling on deck and climbing up to the high side to cling to a winch for four or so hours. The lengthy bouts of sea sickness experienced by some on board (lesson learned, don't sit downwind of the seasick. Still, I had my foulies on). And then, in a matter of hours it was replaced by sun, warmth, spinnakers and a flattened boat.

Personally this five days was something of a revelation. In training I was always aware of expecting bigger weather, worrying if I could cope, would I be too scared to do anything, would the boat cope. Anytime that the we heeled over a lot and got our speed up I would be incredibly tense, worried about something going wrong, worried that I wouldn't know what to do if it did. I wanted everyone on deck. I wanted the wind to die down.

So it came as a surprise to me when the weather picked up at the beginning of this race and I found myself bashing along in a big swell and 30 knots of wind with a smile on my face, loving it. I wasn't waiting for something bad to happen, I was watching our boat speed, urging it to go up and cheering with everyone on long fast surfs down waves. It took me a couple of days to realise it but I had stopped worrying.

This hasn't happened over night. I've been on the race for two months now and was certainly apprehensive leaving Seattle but slowly I've come to understand the boat better and have so much confidence in the crew that I have started to relax. It doesn't mean we're not prepared to react to something, but I don't have the sense of dread that I did. Storm Colin on the last race was an eye opener and I sat down below listening to the terrifying noises coming from on deck wondering if I was really up to this.

But I forced myself to go up the companionway and it was honestly one of the most exhilarating experiences I have ever had. Who knew that I was someone that could enjoy sailing in a tropical storm? Not me!

If I'm honest a big part of why I signed up to the race was to test myself, to see if I could do it, to see how brave I was. I'm no Bear Grylls or Robin Knox-Johnston but it turns out I can enjoy ocean racing in testing conditions. I can ignore the less comfortable aspects of life below in bigger weather. I can go a two weeks without washing my hair. The best thing about all of this is not just the amazing experiences I'm having on board but also that I can take this into life in the 'real' world after the race. I'm going to try to remember that finding out why you're afraid of something can mean that you actually find out you love it.

So, my name is Lizzy and thanks to the Clipper Race I'm not as much of a scaredy cat as I was.

Other news:

The Whexit is over and I have finally seen one up close! By referring to Axel's excellent Whale and Dolphin book we have established that we saw a Common Bottlenose whale about ten feet from the boat, alongside, puffing away. It was very large and grey and we have named him William. We wish you the best, William.

Adrian couldn't manage seconds of Marine's amazing apple and berry crumble at dinner. Obviously we're concerned and have asked the on board medics to check him over as he is clearly unwell.