Race 2 - Day 5
Crew Diary - Race 2, Day 5
20 September

The watch leader’s guide to doing eff-all

1. Get the right team:

Ensure you have the right people around you. Ideally, someone with OCD to keep it clean down below, someone with ants in their pants to keep it clean up above, and a German to make it happen like clockwork. We have Super Dave (after Super Hans from Peep Show), Princess (as in Zena, Warrior Princess) and H-Bomb (Harriet – for her explosive foul language and hyena laugh). For some reason, yours truly has been appointed the leader of this bunch, Slack Bob the lazy sheet. Actually this mob is unmanageable, so why try?

2. Minimise the mayhem:

Limit the number of people on deck. The more the messier; is a good rule of thumb. Keep it lean and mean. A dainty crew of thirteen of us on Zhuhai, nimble, lithe, strong and waxed. Divided into three watches and not a dumb ass amongst us. Some boats have nearly twice the number, and split amongst just two watches which means eleven people on deck milling about amongst the winches, cleats and sheets. Mayhem. But for Zhuhai the Blue Watch, it’s just the four of us, one on the helm, one on the grinder, one on the sheet and one cracking the jokes. If we need some help, we quite enjoy waking up the Standby watch.

3. Just look the part

No matter how hot and sweaty it is – and it’s already getting pretty bad - wear the Zhuhai team kit; full foulies, sea boots and the race of your life beanie. This maximises photo opportunities and provides quality media content back to HQ.

There’s probably more to it than that, but these are the bare essentials. So far I’ve not had to lift a finger, but tomorrow is Friday. It may only be day five out of 30, but as you can tell, our brains are already totally banjaxed.