Race 2 - Day 8
Skipper Report
12 October

Andy Burns
Andy Burns
Team GREAT Britain
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Last night I laid awake much longer than usual, not because we were in squally unreasonable weather but because I was pondering a question. What if I actually was “Marine boy”? I have the Speedos and enjoy a swim. Maybe this is something I can go in to after Clipper Race Skippering? In reality, how many submarines etc need saving these days? Probably not that many... Anyway, it's amazing how the mind wanders when there are less distractions in your life.

Which brings me to my next point - less distractions. I have told you all in my blogs time and time again how hard even the simplest of tasks are on the boat. It may seem like I'm moaning but I'm really not. It's just very difficult to convey what is actually going on here for days on end in comparison to what some of the viewers view this trip to be. Washing a simple bowl of dishes can take over an hour when at home it would be just a five minute task. Anyway, last night I bumped into Thomas Herbst in one of the tunnels. He was wiping down all the walls, handles and surfaces in the dimmed red light with antibacterial spray (basically to keep the boat clean and prevent illness spreading). I asked him how he was as he bounced up and down, spray bottle in one hand, cloth in other searching for his third hand to hold on with. He said “you know what, Andy, this is probably the rawest form of meditation or Buddhism. I can only focus on this simple task in hand and absolutely nothing else.”

Anyway, coming back to the Speedos I have and oxygen packets Lancelot on Liverpool 2018 believes I have consumed brings me to a confession which may or may not affect my contract with the Clipper Race depending on how European the office are feeling today. Let me take you back to the crew allocation day when the crew all received small booklets with yours truly plastered on the front cover. Inside this booklet there was a list of what to bring and what not to bring provided by the Clipper Race as a guideline. There was a “no speedo” policy in there. I may have removed that from mine :-s (That’s a cheeky emoji face for those confused by it). Everyone loves a good pair of Speedos right? We know Tim Jeffery does!

As for the oxygen ELIMINATION packets that myself and Jolsen (John Olsen) ate the contents of, we decided after hours of deliberation that the make-up was a mixture between carbon and silicone (we did this without the use of Google). So very different to gum containing oxygen that Marine Boy ate. So perhaps a super hero cross between Pamela Anderson and Rolf Harris would have been a more likely comparison.

Now for some sailing chat: We are heading EAST, the drysuits have come out and the only mental image I can give you of crew putting them on is the one of Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls removing himself from a rhino’s rear end head first. For those that haven't seen it, don't worry - it's a mechanical rhino not a real one.

In other mind wandering moments, I was taken back to my school days and to a favourite but very short lived English teacher of mine, Mr Webb. The reason I remember Mr Webb is because he would frequently dive away from the subject of English and into the subject of sailing, his boat and how he loved it. I also think he liked a quick nip behind that briefcase of his too. So, if by any chance you are reading this Mr Webb and remember your days back at Skegness Grammar School, I was the cheeky chappy back row, 3 seats in from your left, Year 9.

Your tales of the ocean or North Sea should I say were much more inspiring than Of Mice and Men.

Anyways got to get back to it and make a few fundamental navigational decisions: North, Rhumb Line or South.

Ciao for now.

Andy and the GREAT Britain Team