Race 13 - Day 4
Crew Diary - Derry-Londonderry to Liverpool
25 July
'Don't dream your life, live your dreams'
It's 03:00am. I'm hot and sweaty, and at either side of me I have a hunk of a man, tendering to my every need. They've already removed my outer layers, my footwear and now they each grab a leg of my trousers and pull hard. “Quickly!” I moan, wiping my brow thinking it's going to be too late. This story so far has probably raised an eyebrow or two, and is at risk of being left on the cutting room floor... but nothing is ever quite as it seems. For my hands are occupied, clutching at a bright orange bucket, my head buried deep within, retching every few minutes. There's no pleasure in this, I want someone to put me out of my misery - is this really the adventure I signed up for?
When I was 21 I was sent on a course and on the last day we were tasked to think about our lifetime goals. I thought hard.. Some came easily 'get a degree', 'live abroad' and 'have children' but beyond that I was struggling. For I had spent much of my early childhood living in fear, targeted by school bullies and afflicted by epilepsy. I may have survived the former and grown out of the latter but still I lacked confidence. Whilst I dreamt of great adventure, I honestly didn't believe I would ever be part of it. But I was pushed hard on that course, encouraged to challenge myself and so I threw caution to the wind and added things like 'run a marathon', 'do a parachute jump' and even 'get my private Pilot's license.'
Over the next 20 years I crossed things off that list: I had a successful career in banking, I worked across the world and I got myself educated. I also ran my first marathon, London in 1997. But true adventure remained in my dreams.
In 2003, I was working in Poland and got a phone call which changed my life. My mother had been taken seriously ill, was given a few weeks to live and sadly died 5 days later, aged 59. That was my moment. Out of tragedy came so much goodness. I realised my life had been too one dimensional, centred around my career and all things material and I pondered my legacy. My two children were born in the next two years and I stopped dreaming and started truly living.
In 2008 I put myself forward to take part in the Tall Ships Race, my first 'real' adventure. In the middle of the North sea sailing from Bergen to Edinburgh in force 10 winds, Julie the Adventurer was born. A decade and many more adventures later, and I'm back on the Pink Panther. I've completed my second Atlantic crossing and sailed over 7000 nautical miles.
It's now been 2 days since my encounter with Chris, Nick and the orange bucket. I look back on that morning and smile to myself. It's easy to remember the good times, but isn't it the tough ones that truly define us? In my hour of need I was surrounded by compassionate crew mates. We laugh together, we cry together, we argue occasionally but without exception we support each other. Yes indeed, that's what I signed up for. An adventure of a lifetime surrounded by some of the best people on this planet.
Don't leave it as long as I did – don't dream your life, live your dreams. Find your own adventure, whatever it may be.
Oh and remember to Think Pink!
Julie (Joules) Ashmore Dann, Liverpool 2018