Race 2 - Day 14
Crew Diary - Race 2 Day 14: Punta del Este to Cape Town
18 October

What we say and what we actually mean.

A translation of some simple sailing terminology by the English for everyone else

Nav to helm, over (crew): No response likely but I'll try anyway

Nav to helm, over (Skipper): I will get an instant and defensive response of "the wind has shifted"

NAV TO HELM, OVER (skipper): What the hell is going on up there?

NAV TO HELM, NAV TO HELM. HELM...HELM, OVER!: You are heading to Canada. If you don't bear away instantly I'm going to have to get out of my pyjamas my life jacket on and come up on deck.

Helm to nav, over (crew or skipper): Any chance of a hot drink please?

HELM TO NAV: The instruments have failed, I'm almost certainly heading to Canada

There's only minimal damage to the Code 3 (Skipper): There is a rip from top to bottom which will take five days to repair

Sure, you can sleep in my bunk in your rest shift (crew): If you touch ANYTHING in or near my bunk I will dispatch you over the side of the boat

No you cannot sleep in my bunk (skipper): How long have you been on this effing boat?

Yes I'll have a hot drink (deck crew): How has it taken you three effing hours to ask you lazy swine?

Yes I'll make hot drinks (below deck crew): You demanding wretches, I made you one three hours ago

Grind: Er, helm, what are you playing at?

GRIND!: Sh*t I've mucked this one up

GRIND GRIND GRIND!: Sh*t. It's a wrap.

Bear away: The spinnaker is about to collapse

BEAR AWAY, BEAR AWAY: The spinnaker has collapsed on top of me, what the eff are you doing helm?

What's this? (in reference to bowl of food): Jeez this looks like a bowl of dog food

Did you say a lemon and ginger tea?: You bl**dy demanding b*stard, that'll take me ten minutes to find

The bilges need doing: I couldn't be ars*d to do them on our last shift

Blow the effing vang: I am lying on the surface of the sea holding onto the helm

Is that my piece of cake?: I have already eaten three pieces but don't think you noticed

There's a kite to wool: Escape, run for your lives

Ease!: I need help with this constipation

Big ease: O Lord, how am I going to be able to pump this out