Race 11 - Day 14
Crew Diary - Kicking up a stink
13 May

There is a problem on board the yacht that no one likes to mention but everyone knows is there. On WTC Logistics, we had such a difficulty and let me tell you nostrils began to twitch.

Now before I start I want to make it clear that I don’t want to offend anyone. I can sense the editor’s pen at Clipper HQ poised and at the ready to scrub out half of what I am about to reveal but a story has to be told. I know you guys at home shower daily and are diligent on your cleanliness but here on board we try our best but standards, understandably in the heat off Mexico, are maybe not quite as high as you would like.

On smells, I mean you get the usual schoolboy jokes regarding flatulence or when someone can’t quite flush the toilet properly if the boat is heeled over. In fact, just so you know, the ‘Jabsco 5000’ is our little manual sea toilet and let me tell you it gets quite a going over with 16 people on board but thank goodness it’s here. We love it so much it even has its own slogan – behind every great crew and at every crew’s behind is the Jabsco 5000!

However, our story is not about the Jabsco, or the Heads, you may be ‘relieved’ to hear.

No, this is the story of the mysterious smell on the port corridor. My corridor. It began slowly, with a few comments, but gradually grew into a bigger problem with my crewmates kicking up quite a stink about it.

Initially, welly boots were investigated. This called for a sniff test along the corridor at which point one hapless ocean racer was called out at our daily crew meeting. Our skipper, Dan, has a no blame policy on board but let’s be honest if your boots stink you need to be told and the best way is in front of everyone at the crew meeting. Maximum embarrassment – problem solved.

Or was it? The offending size 10s were removed and yet the smell persisted. Something fishy was going on, it certainly smelled like it.

So a deeper analysis was called for. WTC now stood for ‘Who’s The Culprit?’ There was a whiff of conspiracy in the air. I am not paranoid generally but certainly I began to feel the accusing gaze also being directed at me. The ladies could not be to blame – no lady could generate this - it was one of three blokes and that included me. I even began to suspect myself.

‘Operation deep sniff’ was thorough and unforgiving. Apparently our AQP, Ineke, was even drafted in to sniff bunk sheets, so drastic was the situation. One brave and well intentioned crew mate inhaled from his own deck shoe to prove a point and luckily for him did not fall down unconscious.

Then this morning I had an idea. Had anyone investigated under the floorboards? We lifted the board in the middle of the corridor and OOOOOOHHH LA LA.

Our problem revealed itself and how. A stench of magnificent magnitude stood up and slapped us right in the face. We store day bags of food below the floorboards and evidently one of them had leaked some time ago, oozing sludge and festering away quite happily while we all blamed each other and secretly gave one another sideways and furtive looks of disgust.

I am pleased to say that the stink on the port corridor is therefore solved and resolved. We are now bleached clean and smelling pine fresh.

My crewmates and myself are exonerated - ‘free the fragrant three’ we cry.

Now we just need to enjoy the sweet smell of success by winning the race.