Race 3 - Day 2
Crew Diary - Race 3, Day 2
24 October

Toilet, Dunny, Bathroom, Outhouse, Loo

The things in life we take for granted, like going to the toilet, doing your business, flushing then walking away. Knowing that whatever has gone is someone else’s problem now. Life on a Clipper 70s Yacht is very different, the toilet is called the heads, why I don’t know, and they operate a lot different than your conventional WC or toilet. To start there is no cistern that holds water to flush. You have to pump this from the sea once you have pumped water into the bowl, at least 20 pumps you then have to pump it dry. Another 20 pumps.

To use the Heads on an even keel is fine. Things change when you are sailing at 45 degrees. You first have to fight your way into the heads, not with the other crew but against gravity, the cabinet you are trying to enter is leaning away from you and bouncing around. Once inside you have to zip the door closed, a thin plastic sheet between you and the rest of the crew. There is a couple of grab handles in each head so you don’t get thrown around too much.

If the sea is rough, imagine yourself inside a wooden crate being shaken around, once inside the heads and you have the curtain closed, you’ve wedged yourself against the wall it’s now time to get your pants down. you’ve probably done this a million times before, no problem, but try this when the box you are in is at a 45 degree angle, you are wedged against a wall and standing on a bucking Bronco.

Ok, you have your pants down and ready to sit your bum down I forgot to mention the bowl is smaller and lower than a conventional toilet, also it has no seat. You have your bum on the porcelain, the weather is hot, very hot, you are sweating a lot, your bum is slippery. Not only are you trying to stay focused on why you are doing in the heads in the first place, but keeping your bum from sliding all over the place as if someone has greased the top of the bowl.

Job done, you need to clean yourself and the paper goes into a little basket, not down the bowl.

Pants up, you need to get rid of that sucker, you move the lever to the left and pump, water enters the bowl, not too many pumps if the boat is heeling badly as water will splash onto the floor, not a mess you want to clean up. You move the lever to the right and pump to empty the bowl, nothing’s happening, you pump faster, still, nothing’s happening. Panic moment. The heads are blocked oh no, pumping faster than all of a sudden there is a burp of air and things start to move. Panic over, you keep pumping 20 more times to flush the dowl. You check that everything is clean and wash your hands and exit.