Now I know I said that having a warm Christmas was very strange for me but that wasn't me trying to say that I didn't want to experience nice sunny days. We woke up this morning to a miserable grey skyline with big fat raindrops falling down around us. I felt like I was waking up back home in the UK. It was so cold that the crew almost started a snowman competition.
We would've had plenty of time too as we hit yet another wind hole which took over our boat. However, as the morning continued the sun did come out and so we decided to enjoy the sun as best we could while we bobbed around off the coast of Bateman's Bay. Usually during these down times we like to do some maintenance on the boat however this time around I decided to do a little bit of personal maintenance. Some body DIY if you will.
Obviously being away at sea takes its toll on the body and every now and then you can let your appearance slip. Honestly, it's no big deal as we're all in it together and let's face it we don't have any mirrors on the boat anyway. However now that we are so close to Sydney I thought it was worth sprucing myself up a bit so that I look good at the Prizegiving Ceremony on Sunday. There wasn't too much work to do but I did need to enlist a helping hand when it came to taming my glorious and illustrious mouth mat. I'm talking of course about the world-famous Lance Shepherd Lip Tickler - my tache. There are just certain angles that I can't get at and I need a set of nimble, well balanced and perfectly sized hands. Enter a certain Australian who has nimble, well balanced and perfectly sized hands. The young lad relished getting stuck in there and pulling out all my extra-long hairs and yes there are photos to accompany this story. I swear I didn't wince once. Well I didn't cry at least. My eyes were merely watering with salt water…
It appears that after my makeover I have made quite an impression on the crew. So much so that a Christmas Carol has been written, quiet surprisingly by our resident American Bear, Roy Boy Hubbard. I haven't read it in full but I'm pretty sure it's a very complimentary piece and it's really helped the crew get pumped up for Christmas.
I'll end this blog and leave the Christmas Carol here for you all to enjoy.
Ta,
Lance
**A Clipper Christmas Carol**
By Roy Hubbard
Twas a couple weeks before Christmas, and well into our trip.
The crew working merrily with the exception of Skip.
See we'd been heading to the south pole through an ocean so swelling.
In hopes of seeing Santa and his Mrs in their new summer dwelling.
Over the waves and through the wind our faithful pink boat kept pushing.
The crew scampering about on deck while ol' Lance kept on mushing.
''We'll have this spinnaker up in no time'' Skip hollered ''We haven’t a choice!''
''If we want to make Christmas we must make this hoist!''
''Rick and Elvis get to that halyard and get ready to sweat''
''This will give us 25 knots I'm willing to bet!''
Then Claire shouted ''Is it rigged up just right to be flown?
Skip shouted back, ''Of course it is you scoundrel I did it me own''
''Yah! Yah! Nano, JV, Mikey and Greg keep that bearing!''
That goofy knitted hat on his head he was wearing.
''The quicker this is done we'll be at a mooring''
''Then all you lads can escape Frett's snoring!''
''Paulie, Dodge and Stevie are we ready over there?''
''Aye aye cap'' They shouted back ''we'll grind like a bear!''
''Then hoist! Hoist! And then hoist some more!''
''If you don't get it up there, I'll throw you ashore!''
And with that, the big baggy sail shot right up out of sight.
Straight towards the sky, like a rocket in flight.
The snaps began to pop and the sail started to fill,
Then all of a sudden our poor Code One began to look ill.
Sagging and flapping out there in the breeze,
The poor little sail just couldn’t appease.
It continued to unfold out and put up a good fight.
But still the sail just couldn’t bite.
''Roy and Red, what the hell did you two do?''
They looked at each other without even a clue.
''Skip, we didn’t run anything on our old kite''
''We've been downstairs on Mother and haven't seen light!''
The crew looked up to see what had happened.
Then it became hard to grin without laughing.
A clew clipped to the halyard and sheets tied to the head.
It was clear at that moment that nothing correctly was led.
Skip sat their puzzled scratching his noggin
As the misshapen sail sat out there flogging.
But he didn't have to wait long to figure out just what to do.
Because just at that moment the tackline had blew.
''Ahah! Yes! Right! I know just how to fix this whole mess!''
And with that Skip went below and got a whole good night's rest.
Now the boat is run by Jamie that scruffy Cayman Hunk
While Skipper just stays below huddled
up in his bunk.
And now when the whole crew stays up all night just to
dance
They all laugh about the sail that took down our poor Cap'n Lance.